Confessions
by CrystalQueen187
Summary: A rewrite of the scene in Attack of the Clones where Anakin's confesses his feelings to Padmé, with more realistic dialogue. Oneshot. (Rated T for mild swearing)


**A/N The _I don't like sand _scene and the balcony scene from ROTS get a lot of flack for bad dialogue. But their dialogue is fantastic in comparison to this scene.**

**That's a shame, really, because this would be a really good scene with if the dialogue wasn't so bad. So, I decided to write some better dialogue.**

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"Padmé, I have something to tell you" Anakin said slowly. Padmé nodded. Anakin sat breathing heavily for several moments attempting to compile his thoughts.

_Dear God she is beautiful _he thought as he gazed upon Padmé in her beaded black dress and and golden headpiece.

At last, Anakin gave up on finding a way to not make this sound awkward and maybe slightly creepy.

"From the moment I met you all those years ago, I thought about you everyday since" he admitted.

He quickly shuffled and took a deep breath. He continued confessing much more rapidly. "And now that I'm with you again, it's just...I just…I can't…"

"Anakin…" said Padmé in a soft comforting tone. Anakin looked up and gave her a gaze to let her know he wasn't done. Padmé decided to let him continue.

"It's...like...agonizing" he said. "A Jedi shall never know anger, nor hatred, nor love. But I, I…," he gulped. "The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. Thought of not being with you, I-I can't breathe!" he said frantically.

Padmé was at a loss for words. It'd been so long since she'd had utterly no idea what to say. "That kiss that you gave me I...it's like the memory is, it's haunting me" said Anakin.

"And I'm trying, I'm hoping that the memory isn't corrupted. That it stays, um, pure. Not a scar" he said. He gazed at Padmé, who didn't seemed to react much. "I'll, I'll do whatever you ask me to," he said.

Anakin waited for Padmé's reply for which none came. He grew very annoyed that yet again he had no idea what she was thinking. _Does she not feel anything, or is she suffering as much as I am?" _

"If you are feeling anything like-like I am, please tell me!" said Anakin.

"We can't" said Padmé. "It's just not possible"

"Wait, Padmé! Listen to me I-"

Knowing Anakin was about to offer to leave the Jedi Order for her, she quickly rose to her feet and cut him off. "No, you listen! We live in a real world. Y-you're studying to because a Jedi and I'm a senator"

Although her tone stayed calm, her words sounded angry. But really, she felt a mix of sadness, guilt, with a hint of slight frustration at not being able to be with Anakin.

"We just can't, no matter how we feel about each other" she said.

"Then you do feel something?" asked Anakin.

Although it hurt to keeping saying "No" so adamantly, she knew that was what she had to do. She remembered a time when she was six, and she'd asked her father why he and her mother would always let her and her sister, Sola, eat the last cookies if there were only two left.

_"Because we love you two!" said her father. "And love means giving a little something up for someone else"_

That was what the Jedi Order would never understand. Love wasn't attachments that got in the way of duty. It was the bond that made one make sacrifices for another, not out of duty or charity, but simply because they care about that person more than they care about their own needs.

It could mean a lot more than deserts. If need be, her father would lay down his life to protect her and Sola, as would most any father for his children. Sometimes however, it meant not being with someone, no matter how much you may want to.

"Anakin, I won't let you give up your future for me!" said Padmé.

That was why she couldn't let Anakin leave the order for her. It didn't matter what she wanted, Anakin was a Jedi. And a Jedi he would stay, as far as she was concerned.

"Padmé," said Anakin. "The Jedi Code states we may never fall in love or form personal attachments, lest it lead to the Darkside. But I-I already have. I can't not feel, whatever the hell I'm truly feeling for you right now!"

He walked closer to her. "Believe me, I wish that I could just magically make this all go away. But it doesn't work like that, Padmé!" he said.

"I know" said Padmé with a sigh.

"The more I try and distance myself like a Jedi should, the stronger this gets. Now I have attachments, because I have feelings for-for you. And not being able to be with you is just making me miserable."

Padmé didn't say anything.

"I don't want live in misery, and I just can't stay like this. So, Jedi Code be damned!" he said, raising his voice, getting frustrated. "You're saying be rational but I can't really do that. If you don't feel the same way about me, then that's fine. But if you do then I-I"

"Anakin," said Padmé. "Fate does not favor us. We both know the only way we could be together is if you left the order. But you've dreamed of being a Jedi since you were a small boy. That's what you still want isn't it?"

"Yes, but-"

"And now you're on your way to someday becoming the greatest of in the order, greatest in history even!" said Padmé.

"Do you really believed that?" Anakin asked, eyes wide.

"I do" Padmé said firmly, a smile returning to her lips. However a moment later she returned to seriousness. "I couldn't live with myself if you walked away from all that for me" she said.

Anakin understood. He and turned walked a few paces in the opposite direction, inwardly cursing the Jedi Code for its rule against love and personal attachments. _Dammit, I thought I was supposed to be free! _he thought. Forbidden to follow his heart and find happiness, he felt as much like a slave as he ever had on Tatooine.

He was forced to either suffer in solitude, or leave the order, which Padmé didn't want him to do anyway. That to him felt like invasion of his free will. What right did the Jedi have to tell him how to handle his personal life anyway? _If I was a Master, I wouldn't give a crap about a Jedi dating some random senator as long as they weren't causing any problems" _he decided.

Nor should it matter to his masters. It wouldn't affect anything. If Jedi were free to have romance and families and he were to start a relationship with Padmé, well, unless someone asked they probably wouldn't even know.

_They wouldn't know…_

"What if the Jedi didn't know?" asked Anakin.

"You mean, if we kept it all a secret?" asked Padmé. Anakin paused for a moment, then nodded. "Wow…" she said. "I'm not sure if I could live like that. Could you live like that?"

"Uh...I have...half the time it feels like I already do" said Anakin honestly.

"I just think it'd feel like we were living a lie" said Padmé. She did however suddenly remember that the first time Anakin had met her, she'd been pretending to be a lowly handmaiden, not that he cared.

"Or we'd have truth, from our point of view" Anakin said.

"Maybe. I just don't think that's so practical" she said.

"Maybe that is kinda crazy" Anakin admitted

"Probably" said Padmé.

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**A/N So, thanks for reading everyone. Let me knows what you think! If you liked this I might writing more of these. Scenes with new dialogue+inner thoughts.**


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